Lessons from God - part 1

One thing I am learning as I walk with God is that His lessons are never ones you would expect.

Recently things in my home and around me have fallen apart. Literally! One thing after another is breaking down. Does this mean I live in a disaster? Not at all. My home is one of pride for me. One of joy.

Lesson 1 : Contentment

I enjoy learning how to be content with my home and after the 2nd break down (water heater then closet) I thought God wanted me to learn even further contentment. Why would breaking things mean contentment? That is because I walked into my Husbands home, then fiance, with distaste in my mouth. The thought of lowering myself to live in a trailer was awful, but I looked at myself as a martyr for sacrificing myself for him. What a horrid way for me to think. He felt it, he heard it, he saw it... my disgust. My poor dear husband, I am so sorry! Then he got a job where he was not home for 2 weeks at a time. During his periods away, I was being changed by God. God was showing me, telling me that what a blessed person I am to have a home such as I do. A safe haven. A protector for my family. My husband did not see this change.

So when the water heater broke down, and it was my almost nagging that made him check on it. He was sure that I was rubbing in what a trash of a home we have. Oh, he was fustrated, so angry at me. I tried so hard to be nice, to be extra helpful, not quite sure what was making him angry. My works were against me. Everything I did only worked further against me. He saw it as me rubbing it in. God finally showed me a time where I could show him my hurt and speak to him. My husband told me how I made him feel. I was so aghast at myself. That my cold curt comments from over 4 years ago still hurt him.

I pray: "God, please help me to show him the growing contentment you continue to nurture within me. Please also help me to learn how to communicate with my husband, as easily as I can talk with you. Thank you for this lesson learned."